Wow... over a year has gone by since my last post! That's gotta be a record somewhere. It is for me, anyway ;) So last I wrote, I was still trying to reach my ideal weight, and that happened early summer of 2012. Currently, I've been able to maintain a weight of about 172-175 lbs and around 11-12% body fat. God has helped me find a balance on the nutrition end of the health spectrum, but other problems have arisen, largely because I've been burning the candle at both ends for too long.
I was diagnosed a few weeks ago with something called adrenal fatigue. From what I understand, our bodies' fight-or-flight response is designed for quick bursts of energy in highly stressful situations (e.g. running away from a burning building). However, our society has largely removed these high-stress events and replaced them with chronic, low-level stress. Unfortunately, this means our fight-or-flight response is always on edge and can actually burn out. Which is where I'm at right now.
So, clinically-speaking, I'm a workaholic. In my case, being a computer scientist, recording artist, and worship leader all at the same time, in the quantities I currently pursue them in, have burnt me out. How did it get this way? Well, look at the list - all of the things I mentioned are very good things to be involved in (bear in mind that the two biggest things I've omitted from that list are husband and father because those take top priority and are untouchable). It's easy to fill our lives up with good things to do with our time but just because something is good doesn't mean it's good to do it all the time. I need to re-evaluate my priorities!
Psalm 23 which says this (from The Message):
1-3 God, my shepherd!
I don’t need a thing.
You have bedded me down in lush meadows,
you find me quiet pools to drink from.
True to your word,
you let me catch my breath
and send me in the right direction.
4 Even when the way goes through
Death Valley,
I’m not afraid
when you walk at my side.
Your trusty shepherd’s crook
makes me feel secure.
5 You serve me a six-course dinner
right in front of my enemies.
You revive my drooping head;
my cup brims with blessing.
6 Your beauty and love chase after me
every day of my life.
I’m back home in the house of God
for the rest of my life.
Bottom line is, the world won't end if you slow down. God may have put a calling on your life, but if you don't feel rested spiritually or your health is in decline because you're too busy, you're doing too much. God is going to make it happen in His timing. So take time to catch your breath and let Him handle it!
Wednesday, April 3, 2013
Sunday, February 19, 2012
I'm Listening
Wow, another two weeks already... I gotta get back on the ball! Thanks for being patient with me :)
The last two weeks have been crazy, once again. I had the privilege of leading worship at Calvary this weekend - it was the first weekend I had done in about six months, and it was fantastic to catch up with a lot of friends I hadn't seen in awhile. I've also been busy in the studio, and I'm really hoping we can get this thing finished by summer.
That said, I've taken a bit of a detour from Genesis over the last couple of weeks. I'm starting to get into the genealogies of important Biblical figures, and I gotta be honest, it isn't exactly easy reading. My plan is to make a giant family tree starting with Adam and Eve and working my way down as I get through it. Should be pretty cool :)
In the interim, I've been spending more time writing music and getting my prayers put on paper, so to speak. I'd like to share one with you here that I'll be playing this Thursday at Renovate (meets @ The Lobo Theater in Nob Hill at 7:30pm). It comes from Hebrews 4:12-16, which reads as follows:
"For the Word of God is alive and active. Sharper than any double-edged sword, it penetrates even to dividing soul and spirit, joints and marrow; it judges the thoughts and attitudes of the heart. Nothing in all creation is hidden from God's sight. Everything is uncovered and laid bare before the eyes of Him to whom we must give account. Therefore, since we have a great high priest who has ascended into heaven, Jesus the Son of God, let us hold firmly to the faith we profess. For we do not have a high priest who is unable to empathize with our weaknesses, but we have one who has been tempted in every way, just as we are - yet he did not sin. Let us then approach God's throne of grace with confidence, so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help us in our time of need."
There's a TON happening in this passage, especially in relation to the things that have been going on in my life over the last year. When my wife was going through some pretty nasty medical issues shortly after our second son was born in March 2011, I allowed myself to become bitter and angry, and my heart was hardened towards God. Since then, he's changed my heart, but this passage sums up exactly what I was going through at the time. God's word is active, and it shakes us to the core when we are in the wrong. At the same time, no matter how angry or bitter we become, God knows about it, and He empathizes because he faced the same kinds of situations that our bitterness ultimately stems from. What's so beautiful about this passage to me is how it says we are to approach the throne of grace with confidence - we don't ever have to question whether God's grace is sufficient because he says right here that we will find it in our time of need!
I'm Listening
Where did I go wrong?
I tried so hard to be perfect on my own
Then it all feel apart
But you were there to remind me
You rescued my heart from the darkest of sorrow
Buried my emptiness in an empty tomb
And the very same words that pierce me down to the marrow
Are said to heal the deepest of wounds, so I'm listening
I knew it all along
I'd never outlast you but still I tried
And it all broke your heart
You were still there to remind me
You rescued my heart from the darkest of sorrow
Buried my emptiness in an empty tomb
And the very same words that pierce me down to the marrow
Are said to heal the deepest of wounds, so I'm listening
With outstretched arms and open hands
I stand before the Great I Am
I'm not alright, that much is true
But I'm alive when I'm with You
You rescued my heart from the darkest of sorrow
Buried my emptiness in an empty tomb
And the very same words that pierce me down to the marrow
Are said to heal the deepest of wounds, so I'm listening
That's all I have for today, hope your weekend was good. Have a great week, and hopefully I'll see you at The Lobo this Thursday!
Ben
The last two weeks have been crazy, once again. I had the privilege of leading worship at Calvary this weekend - it was the first weekend I had done in about six months, and it was fantastic to catch up with a lot of friends I hadn't seen in awhile. I've also been busy in the studio, and I'm really hoping we can get this thing finished by summer.
That said, I've taken a bit of a detour from Genesis over the last couple of weeks. I'm starting to get into the genealogies of important Biblical figures, and I gotta be honest, it isn't exactly easy reading. My plan is to make a giant family tree starting with Adam and Eve and working my way down as I get through it. Should be pretty cool :)
In the interim, I've been spending more time writing music and getting my prayers put on paper, so to speak. I'd like to share one with you here that I'll be playing this Thursday at Renovate (meets @ The Lobo Theater in Nob Hill at 7:30pm). It comes from Hebrews 4:12-16, which reads as follows:
"For the Word of God is alive and active. Sharper than any double-edged sword, it penetrates even to dividing soul and spirit, joints and marrow; it judges the thoughts and attitudes of the heart. Nothing in all creation is hidden from God's sight. Everything is uncovered and laid bare before the eyes of Him to whom we must give account. Therefore, since we have a great high priest who has ascended into heaven, Jesus the Son of God, let us hold firmly to the faith we profess. For we do not have a high priest who is unable to empathize with our weaknesses, but we have one who has been tempted in every way, just as we are - yet he did not sin. Let us then approach God's throne of grace with confidence, so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help us in our time of need."
There's a TON happening in this passage, especially in relation to the things that have been going on in my life over the last year. When my wife was going through some pretty nasty medical issues shortly after our second son was born in March 2011, I allowed myself to become bitter and angry, and my heart was hardened towards God. Since then, he's changed my heart, but this passage sums up exactly what I was going through at the time. God's word is active, and it shakes us to the core when we are in the wrong. At the same time, no matter how angry or bitter we become, God knows about it, and He empathizes because he faced the same kinds of situations that our bitterness ultimately stems from. What's so beautiful about this passage to me is how it says we are to approach the throne of grace with confidence - we don't ever have to question whether God's grace is sufficient because he says right here that we will find it in our time of need!
I'm Listening
Where did I go wrong?
I tried so hard to be perfect on my own
Then it all feel apart
But you were there to remind me
You rescued my heart from the darkest of sorrow
Buried my emptiness in an empty tomb
And the very same words that pierce me down to the marrow
Are said to heal the deepest of wounds, so I'm listening
I knew it all along
I'd never outlast you but still I tried
And it all broke your heart
You were still there to remind me
You rescued my heart from the darkest of sorrow
Buried my emptiness in an empty tomb
And the very same words that pierce me down to the marrow
Are said to heal the deepest of wounds, so I'm listening
With outstretched arms and open hands
I stand before the Great I Am
I'm not alright, that much is true
But I'm alive when I'm with You
You rescued my heart from the darkest of sorrow
Buried my emptiness in an empty tomb
And the very same words that pierce me down to the marrow
Are said to heal the deepest of wounds, so I'm listening
That's all I have for today, hope your weekend was good. Have a great week, and hopefully I'll see you at The Lobo this Thursday!
Ben
Sunday, February 5, 2012
Progress
Well sorry to leave you hangin'! Last weekend was REALLY busy for my family and I, hence the non-blog-post... and here we are, two weeks later already. I hope you all had a great Super Bowl weekend, regardless of whether you watched it or not (Go Giants... ;).
Anyway, a lot has happened in the last two weeks for me, spiritually and physically, so I'm excited to share with you what's on my heart. First off, let's get to brass tax on how things have been changing physically since I started on New Year's. I measured my stats tonight and here's where I'm at:
Weight: 185 lbs
Body Fat: 14.3%
So I've lost a total of 10 pounds and knocked off 3.7% of my body fat in 5 weeks! It'd be dishonest if I said it was easy - it's been pretty hard getting used to not eating so much, but it seems like things are really working well, and I'm really surprised at how much of a difference it's made in so little time. Five weeks go by crazy fast!
Three days ago, I decided to go on a sort of "Juice Fast" - I'm replacing two meals a day with juice made from a TON of fruits and vegetables. My plan is, at the end of 10 days (next Sunday), I'll check my stats again and see where I stand. My ultimate goal is to get below my target weight of 180 lbs - this is what the doctors say is healthy for someone of my physique. So I'm not quite where I need to be, but I'm getting really close. Thanks for your encouragement and support :)
Now, onto the spiritual (and most important part). I've been able to stay consistent with reading my Bible every day before going to work over the last two weeks. Here's what I covered:
Monday 01/23: Genesis 11 - Tower of Babel
Tuesday 01/24: Genesis 12 - God calls out to Abram
Wednesday 01/25: Genesis 13 - Abram and Lot separate
Thursday 01/26: Genesis 14 - Abram rescues Lot
Friday 01/27: Genesis 15 - God makes a covenant with Abram
Monday 01/30: Genesis 16 - Abram and Hagar have Ishmael
Tuesday 01/31: Genesis 17 - Abram becomes Abraham, Sarai becomes Sarah
Wednesday 02/01: Genesis 18 - Abraham pleads for mercy upon Sodom
Thursday 02/02: Genesis 19 - Sodom and Gamorrah are destroyed, Lot escapes
Friday 02/03: Genesis 20 - Abraham and Abimelek
Ok, so a lot of ground has been covered here over the last two weeks. One of the recurring themes we read about here is second-guessing God's best for us, and trying to impose our own will over His. We first see in chapter 12 that God promises Abraham that he will become a great nation. In chapter 13, Abram and Lot separate. In this chapter, Lot is given a choice of two lands - to the east, the land was well-watered, but to the west, the land wasn't as good. Lot chose the better land, but by doing so, had to live in close proximity to Sodom, one of the most wicked places mentioned in the Bible. In chapter 14, Abram rescues Lot after he's taken captive by four kings who made war in his lands.
Here's where things get interesting. In chapter 15, God once again promises Abram that he will be a great nation, his children as numerous as the stars. Abraham believes him, but questions how it will happen. Abraham suggests to God that his heir will be one of his servants, but God promises that his heir will be of his "own flesh and blood". In chapter 16, Sarai doubts this promise and has Abram conceive a son with her maidservant, Hagar. I don't think it's too big of a stretch to say that Abram probably also doubted the Lord, because he went through with it, even though God said his heir would be of his own "flesh and blood." Funny how God can speak so clearly sometimes, and yet we still doubt He will do what he has promised!
Skipping over to chapter 18, Abram has already been given a new name, "Abraham", as a sign of God's promise. We find out in this chapter that God wants to destroy Sodom, and that somehow Lot has returned to live in that city. Despite getting captured in a war between four kings and having to be saved by Abraham, Lot still thought it was better to keep his family in the most evil place in the world because the land was good for their herds! In chapter 19, Lot eventually is rescued again and the city is destroyed, but he loses his wife because she looks back to the city as it was being destroyed, against what the angels had commanded her.
What I get out of these chapters is that God has a plan, and it's not going to change no matter what you do. God didn't want Lot to be in Sodom, and God wanted Abraham's descendants (through Sarah, his wife, and not her maidservant) to inherit the land of Canaan. Abraham's relationship with his wife suffered, because they decided it would be better to try to have children through their younger maidservant, even though God promised them that their old age would not be a problem. Lot lost his wife because he kept trying to live in a place where he ultimately should not have been. In the end, God's will was done. I can't help but wonder how this story may have been different had Abraham not conceived with Hagar, and if Lot had not returned to Sodom. Makes me consider some of the choices I've made in my life, and how things may have been different if I had listened to God sooner.
Again, I'm reminded of Jeremiah 29:11. God's plans are perfect, and as such, no amount of arguing by me is going to change that fact, even if I think my plans might be better at the time. It's best just to do what God says the first time, and be patient when He doesn't move in "conventional" ways.
Well, that's all I've got for tonight. I hope you all have a great week, talk to you next time!
Ben
Anyway, a lot has happened in the last two weeks for me, spiritually and physically, so I'm excited to share with you what's on my heart. First off, let's get to brass tax on how things have been changing physically since I started on New Year's. I measured my stats tonight and here's where I'm at:
Weight: 185 lbs
Body Fat: 14.3%
So I've lost a total of 10 pounds and knocked off 3.7% of my body fat in 5 weeks! It'd be dishonest if I said it was easy - it's been pretty hard getting used to not eating so much, but it seems like things are really working well, and I'm really surprised at how much of a difference it's made in so little time. Five weeks go by crazy fast!
Three days ago, I decided to go on a sort of "Juice Fast" - I'm replacing two meals a day with juice made from a TON of fruits and vegetables. My plan is, at the end of 10 days (next Sunday), I'll check my stats again and see where I stand. My ultimate goal is to get below my target weight of 180 lbs - this is what the doctors say is healthy for someone of my physique. So I'm not quite where I need to be, but I'm getting really close. Thanks for your encouragement and support :)
Now, onto the spiritual (and most important part). I've been able to stay consistent with reading my Bible every day before going to work over the last two weeks. Here's what I covered:
Monday 01/23: Genesis 11 - Tower of Babel
Tuesday 01/24: Genesis 12 - God calls out to Abram
Wednesday 01/25: Genesis 13 - Abram and Lot separate
Thursday 01/26: Genesis 14 - Abram rescues Lot
Friday 01/27: Genesis 15 - God makes a covenant with Abram
Monday 01/30: Genesis 16 - Abram and Hagar have Ishmael
Tuesday 01/31: Genesis 17 - Abram becomes Abraham, Sarai becomes Sarah
Wednesday 02/01: Genesis 18 - Abraham pleads for mercy upon Sodom
Thursday 02/02: Genesis 19 - Sodom and Gamorrah are destroyed, Lot escapes
Friday 02/03: Genesis 20 - Abraham and Abimelek
Ok, so a lot of ground has been covered here over the last two weeks. One of the recurring themes we read about here is second-guessing God's best for us, and trying to impose our own will over His. We first see in chapter 12 that God promises Abraham that he will become a great nation. In chapter 13, Abram and Lot separate. In this chapter, Lot is given a choice of two lands - to the east, the land was well-watered, but to the west, the land wasn't as good. Lot chose the better land, but by doing so, had to live in close proximity to Sodom, one of the most wicked places mentioned in the Bible. In chapter 14, Abram rescues Lot after he's taken captive by four kings who made war in his lands.
Here's where things get interesting. In chapter 15, God once again promises Abram that he will be a great nation, his children as numerous as the stars. Abraham believes him, but questions how it will happen. Abraham suggests to God that his heir will be one of his servants, but God promises that his heir will be of his "own flesh and blood". In chapter 16, Sarai doubts this promise and has Abram conceive a son with her maidservant, Hagar. I don't think it's too big of a stretch to say that Abram probably also doubted the Lord, because he went through with it, even though God said his heir would be of his own "flesh and blood." Funny how God can speak so clearly sometimes, and yet we still doubt He will do what he has promised!
Skipping over to chapter 18, Abram has already been given a new name, "Abraham", as a sign of God's promise. We find out in this chapter that God wants to destroy Sodom, and that somehow Lot has returned to live in that city. Despite getting captured in a war between four kings and having to be saved by Abraham, Lot still thought it was better to keep his family in the most evil place in the world because the land was good for their herds! In chapter 19, Lot eventually is rescued again and the city is destroyed, but he loses his wife because she looks back to the city as it was being destroyed, against what the angels had commanded her.
What I get out of these chapters is that God has a plan, and it's not going to change no matter what you do. God didn't want Lot to be in Sodom, and God wanted Abraham's descendants (through Sarah, his wife, and not her maidservant) to inherit the land of Canaan. Abraham's relationship with his wife suffered, because they decided it would be better to try to have children through their younger maidservant, even though God promised them that their old age would not be a problem. Lot lost his wife because he kept trying to live in a place where he ultimately should not have been. In the end, God's will was done. I can't help but wonder how this story may have been different had Abraham not conceived with Hagar, and if Lot had not returned to Sodom. Makes me consider some of the choices I've made in my life, and how things may have been different if I had listened to God sooner.
Again, I'm reminded of Jeremiah 29:11. God's plans are perfect, and as such, no amount of arguing by me is going to change that fact, even if I think my plans might be better at the time. It's best just to do what God says the first time, and be patient when He doesn't move in "conventional" ways.
Well, that's all I've got for tonight. I hope you all have a great week, talk to you next time!
Ben
Sunday, January 22, 2012
What's the point?
Well, I have to admit, it's been one of those weeks again where you wish for nothing but the weekend, and when it finally comes, it's just as tiring as the rest of the week. I feel pretty beat - I've been sticking to a pretty strict diet where I don't eat late at night, and I'm eating about half as much as I did before. Sometimes it makes me feel great, other times I feel like I'm starving all the time. I thought it was kind of analogous to our spiritual lives. Sometimes it seems like the Spirit is really moving and you can barely keep up, and other times it can feel like things are stagnating and not really going anywhere. This week for me was sorta like the latter, but as always, God's message comes just when you need it. Here's what I read this week
Monday: Genesis 6 - Noah builds the ark
Tuesday: Genesis 7 - The floods rise up
Wednesday: Genesis 8 - The floods recede
Thursday: Genesis 9 - God's covenant with Noah, Noah's sons
Friday:
Saturday:
Sunday: Genesis 10 - Lineage of Noah's sons
Maybe the reason why this week felt so stagnant was because I missed two days... ;) At any rate, this week for me was a recap of a very familiar story of how God saved Noah and his family because they were righteous in a very wicked world. One thing I had never thought of before though was the amount of time that Noah had to wait to trust God's plan for him, and how he did it without second-guessing God's commands.
Imagine for a moment that you start building a giant ship in your backyard because God told you to. Think your neighbors might have something to say about it? What would you tell them? "Oh yeah, God's going to wipe out the earth with a flood, but he told me to build a ship to escape the cataclysm." They all probably thought he was insane. But what strikes me out of this story this particular time is that God didn't have to save Noah by telling him to build an Ark - He could have just magically transported him to the future and let him skip the difficulty of enduring the flood, or the insults of his fellow men, or any of that. But instead, God told him to build a boat to save his family, and it took years of hard work to finish it.
So many times, I fall into that line of thinking that if God was really sovereign and if He really loves me, why doesn't He just get me out of whatever mess I'm in and do it the least painful way possible? By this story, we can see that sometimes, God wants you to learn to trust him by working hard at fulfilling his plan. It may not make sense at the moment to build a giant ship in the middle of your desert home, or face some other seemingly-insane obstacle, but He's got a plan and it just so happens to be the very best plan anyone could ever make for you. Just like Jeremiah 29:11 says, God doesn't want to harm you, He wants to prosper you. This is definitely something I struggle with on a day-to-day basis, but I'm learning to do as 1 Peter 5:7 says and give my cares to God when things just don't make sense, because He cares for us.
So the next time you have a week where you just don't know why you're toiling away or working towards what might seem like a fruitless end, take some time to step back and ask yourself if what you are doing is because it's what you want to do, or if it's because what God wants you to do. If it's the former, then ask God to change your heart, and if it's the latter, ask God to give you patience to continue the work He's currently tasked you with. He will never ask you to do something that He knows you can't do, so consider yourself equipped for the work and press on!
That's all I have for now, talk to you next time!
Ben
Monday: Genesis 6 - Noah builds the ark
Tuesday: Genesis 7 - The floods rise up
Wednesday: Genesis 8 - The floods recede
Thursday: Genesis 9 - God's covenant with Noah, Noah's sons
Friday:
Saturday:
Sunday: Genesis 10 - Lineage of Noah's sons
Maybe the reason why this week felt so stagnant was because I missed two days... ;) At any rate, this week for me was a recap of a very familiar story of how God saved Noah and his family because they were righteous in a very wicked world. One thing I had never thought of before though was the amount of time that Noah had to wait to trust God's plan for him, and how he did it without second-guessing God's commands.
Imagine for a moment that you start building a giant ship in your backyard because God told you to. Think your neighbors might have something to say about it? What would you tell them? "Oh yeah, God's going to wipe out the earth with a flood, but he told me to build a ship to escape the cataclysm." They all probably thought he was insane. But what strikes me out of this story this particular time is that God didn't have to save Noah by telling him to build an Ark - He could have just magically transported him to the future and let him skip the difficulty of enduring the flood, or the insults of his fellow men, or any of that. But instead, God told him to build a boat to save his family, and it took years of hard work to finish it.
So many times, I fall into that line of thinking that if God was really sovereign and if He really loves me, why doesn't He just get me out of whatever mess I'm in and do it the least painful way possible? By this story, we can see that sometimes, God wants you to learn to trust him by working hard at fulfilling his plan. It may not make sense at the moment to build a giant ship in the middle of your desert home, or face some other seemingly-insane obstacle, but He's got a plan and it just so happens to be the very best plan anyone could ever make for you. Just like Jeremiah 29:11 says, God doesn't want to harm you, He wants to prosper you. This is definitely something I struggle with on a day-to-day basis, but I'm learning to do as 1 Peter 5:7 says and give my cares to God when things just don't make sense, because He cares for us.
So the next time you have a week where you just don't know why you're toiling away or working towards what might seem like a fruitless end, take some time to step back and ask yourself if what you are doing is because it's what you want to do, or if it's because what God wants you to do. If it's the former, then ask God to change your heart, and if it's the latter, ask God to give you patience to continue the work He's currently tasked you with. He will never ask you to do something that He knows you can't do, so consider yourself equipped for the work and press on!
That's all I have for now, talk to you next time!
Ben
Sunday, January 15, 2012
The Best You Have To Give
Wow, I can't believe how quickly this last week went! Got a lot done and a lot to share, but I am TOTALLY wiped out, so I'll try to make this quick. This week, I got through Genesis chapter 5, and only missed Friday. Not bad for the first week, but still short of the goal. Good thing God's grace is sufficient ;) Here's a quick recap of what these 5 chapters are about:
Genesis 1: The universe is created
Genesis 2: Adam is put in charge of the Garden of Eden and Eve is created
Genesis 3: Adam and Eve sin and are cast out of the Garden
Genesis 4: Cain and Abel are born, Cain murders Abel in a field
Genesis 5: Adam's lineage is traced down to Noah
I want to focus on Chapter 4 today, because it's got some pretty striking stuff in it with respect to worship. Just about everyone knows the story of Cain and Abel, and how it was the first murder recorded in the Bible. A lot of scholars make a big deal out of the fact that it's the first murder, but it's a lot more than that. Let's take a look at what precipitated the act, starting in verse 3 and ending in verse 8.
"And in the process of time it came to pass that Cain brought an offering of the fruit of the ground to the Lord. Abel also brought of the firstborn of his flock and of their fat. And the Lord respected Abel and his offering, but He did not respect Cain and his offering. And Cain was very angry, and his countenance fell. So the Lord said to Cain, "Why are you angry? And why has your countenance fallen? If you do well, will you not be accepted? And if you do not do well, sin lies at the door. And its desire is for you, but you should rule over it." Now Cain talked with Abel his brother; and it came to pass, when they were in the field, that Cain rose up against Abel his brother and killed him."
It's pretty clear that Cain was jealous of Abel because Abel's offering was more pleasing than his own, but why? Well, Cain's offering was just "an offering," according to verse 3, but Abel brought "the firstborn of his flock and of their fat." Abel's offering represented the best of his efforts, but Cain's offering was mediocre, at best. Basically, Cain wanted to get God's blessing without having to give Him the best of his fields, but Abel brought nothing but the best he had to offer. Cain started to sulk about it, and God admonished him, telling him if he had put forth his best efforts, his offering would have also been accepted.
I don't really know why Cain was lazy in his offering, but I'd like to think it was because he was being selfish and wanted to keep the best of his field's produce all to himself. I'm reminded of the parable of the talents in Matthew 25, where three servants were given various talents. The first servant received five talents, the second received two, and the third received one. The first two servants invested their talents and doubled them, but the third did nothing. Upon returning it to the master, the third servant went so far as to insult the master saying "I knew that you are a hard man, harvesting where you have not sown and gathering where you have not scattered seed. So I was afraid and went out and hid your talent in the ground. See, here is what belongs to you." Of course, the third servant was banished because of his laziness. The main point here is that laziness kills effective worship. I'll be the first to admit that this is a hard pill to swallow. There have been plenty of times where I didn't feel like reaching out to someone for Christ, or doing the best job I could at work, or fill in the blank. It's easy to get lazy because the perceived payoff is immediate, but laziness can really cause your relationship with Christ (as well as any other relationship) to suffer.
Taking this one step further back, it seems like I'm having to ask God for help with a LOT of things lately, which is hard to do for me because I'm a stubborn, type-A person. But I have to say that with all the conviction I've been feeling lately, there is a definite sense of peace that comes with knowing that I don't have to handle this myself. Which reminds me of another passage - Matthew 11:28-30, which says: "Come to Me, all you who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take My yoke upon you and learn from Me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For My yoke is easy and my burden is light." It seems I've heard those verses a million times, but I think I'm finally starting to understand.
Well that's all I have for tonight. If you have anything you'd like to share, feel free to do so in the Comments below. Otherwise, have a safe week, talk to you soon!
Ben
Genesis 1: The universe is created
Genesis 2: Adam is put in charge of the Garden of Eden and Eve is created
Genesis 3: Adam and Eve sin and are cast out of the Garden
Genesis 4: Cain and Abel are born, Cain murders Abel in a field
Genesis 5: Adam's lineage is traced down to Noah
I want to focus on Chapter 4 today, because it's got some pretty striking stuff in it with respect to worship. Just about everyone knows the story of Cain and Abel, and how it was the first murder recorded in the Bible. A lot of scholars make a big deal out of the fact that it's the first murder, but it's a lot more than that. Let's take a look at what precipitated the act, starting in verse 3 and ending in verse 8.
"And in the process of time it came to pass that Cain brought an offering of the fruit of the ground to the Lord. Abel also brought of the firstborn of his flock and of their fat. And the Lord respected Abel and his offering, but He did not respect Cain and his offering. And Cain was very angry, and his countenance fell. So the Lord said to Cain, "Why are you angry? And why has your countenance fallen? If you do well, will you not be accepted? And if you do not do well, sin lies at the door. And its desire is for you, but you should rule over it." Now Cain talked with Abel his brother; and it came to pass, when they were in the field, that Cain rose up against Abel his brother and killed him."
It's pretty clear that Cain was jealous of Abel because Abel's offering was more pleasing than his own, but why? Well, Cain's offering was just "an offering," according to verse 3, but Abel brought "the firstborn of his flock and of their fat." Abel's offering represented the best of his efforts, but Cain's offering was mediocre, at best. Basically, Cain wanted to get God's blessing without having to give Him the best of his fields, but Abel brought nothing but the best he had to offer. Cain started to sulk about it, and God admonished him, telling him if he had put forth his best efforts, his offering would have also been accepted.
I don't really know why Cain was lazy in his offering, but I'd like to think it was because he was being selfish and wanted to keep the best of his field's produce all to himself. I'm reminded of the parable of the talents in Matthew 25, where three servants were given various talents. The first servant received five talents, the second received two, and the third received one. The first two servants invested their talents and doubled them, but the third did nothing. Upon returning it to the master, the third servant went so far as to insult the master saying "I knew that you are a hard man, harvesting where you have not sown and gathering where you have not scattered seed. So I was afraid and went out and hid your talent in the ground. See, here is what belongs to you." Of course, the third servant was banished because of his laziness. The main point here is that laziness kills effective worship. I'll be the first to admit that this is a hard pill to swallow. There have been plenty of times where I didn't feel like reaching out to someone for Christ, or doing the best job I could at work, or fill in the blank. It's easy to get lazy because the perceived payoff is immediate, but laziness can really cause your relationship with Christ (as well as any other relationship) to suffer.
Taking this one step further back, it seems like I'm having to ask God for help with a LOT of things lately, which is hard to do for me because I'm a stubborn, type-A person. But I have to say that with all the conviction I've been feeling lately, there is a definite sense of peace that comes with knowing that I don't have to handle this myself. Which reminds me of another passage - Matthew 11:28-30, which says: "Come to Me, all you who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take My yoke upon you and learn from Me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For My yoke is easy and my burden is light." It seems I've heard those verses a million times, but I think I'm finally starting to understand.
Well that's all I have for tonight. If you have anything you'd like to share, feel free to do so in the Comments below. Otherwise, have a safe week, talk to you soon!
Ben
Sunday, January 8, 2012
The Huge Plank In My Eye
Hey everyone,
I hope you've all had a great week since last Sunday, and that your New Year's holiday was restful! Before I get to the main point of today's blog, I wanted to say something about where the music on the project stands. We've got three songs finished, and although we don't have an official track listing yet, the project will probably have somewhere between 6-8 songs on it. We're just sorta feeling it out and seeing where things go at this point. I talked with the producer and he'd like to get a couple more tracks finished before we release anything quite yet, so it still may be some time before I can post any songs. I'll definitely let you know as things progress.
Ok, formalities aside, I wanted to talk with you about what's been happening in my spiritual life over the last week, and how God's been changing my heart. In my last blog post, I alluded to Romans 12:1-2. Here's the whole passage: "Therefore, I urge you, brothers and sisters, in view of God's mercy, to offer your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and pleasing to God - this is your true and proper worship. Do not conform to the pattern of this world, bbut be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God's will is - his good, pleasing, and perfect will." Specifically, God has been reminding me of the part about offering our bodies as living sacrifices. Last weekend, I took a long hard look at how I've been taking care of the body that God has given me (or not taking care of it), and He revealed some things I hadn't thought about before.
I've been convinced, for a long time that there are some deep issues with the church and an overall lack of honesty when it comes to sacrificial praise. What I failed to realize is that "the church" is not some abstract notion we can blame when things aren't 100% perfect. If you and I claim to be followers of Christ, then the term "the church" refers to you and I as much as it does to any other Christian. So if "the church" has a problem, then I am as big a part of the problem as anyone else in "the church". So basically, God told me this week that I've got no room to talk about the problems in "the Church" until I get my own temple straightened out. Wow... that one kinda stings a little, doesn't it?
Bottom line is, if I'm 100% honest when it comes to my health, both spiritual and physical, I've been pretty willy-nilly. I'm one of those guys who HATES to read books, for the most part. This has been a real stumbling block for me when it comes to spending time in God's word. I'm also one of those people who LOVES to eat. A LOT. So I've got this two-headed monster of a problem where I'm over-indulging in things that aren't good for my body, God's temple, and I'm starving it of its only connection to the only thing that really gives me life. When I first realized this, I started to feel really hopeless, but God, as unceasingly patient as He is, reminded me of Matthew 18. Even though we are as dumb as sheep sometimes, He loves us so much that He'd search to the ends of the earth to find the one that continually wanders off.
So, it's apparent to me that I need to work on two things - being more diligent about spending time in the Word, and taking better care of my body. For the first problem, I know that God wants me spending time reading His word daily. I'm setting a goal to read through the Bible from top to bottom, one chapter at a time every morning. Each time I write a blog post here, I'll post a summary of which chapters I read on which day of the week. That way, I'll have to 'fess up to the entire internet if I miss a day ;) I'd like to do sort of the same thing for getting physically healthy. I know a few things about where I stand physically and where I need to get to, so I'll keep a summary of my physical stats with each blog post that will look something like this:
Weight: 195 lbs
Body Fat: 18% <-- this one's hard to measure, so I may not be able to update it terribly often
Blood Pressure: 108/80
Heart Rate: 49 BPM
Yep... those are my real stats, as of about a week ago. I'm just under 6 feet tall, so that means my BMI is 27.2. This puts me firmly into the 25 to 29.9 range for being overweight. Healthy BMI for men my age is between 18.5-24.9 and healthy body fat % is 8-18%. I've consulted a physician and they said my target weight is 170 lbs, so I gotta lose about 25 lbs - this would get my BMI down to 23.7, which would be ideal for my body type. Heart rate and blood pressure are good, but only because I'm still relatively young (26). Bottom line is, I need to lose some weight.
So that's what I'm up against this year. Seems pretty daunting, but I know I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me. I'm excited to see where God is leading me through on this crazy ride, and I'm looking forward to becoming less like me and more like the person God wants me to be. Thanks for reading and keeping me accountable. I'll update you on everything next week!
Ben
I hope you've all had a great week since last Sunday, and that your New Year's holiday was restful! Before I get to the main point of today's blog, I wanted to say something about where the music on the project stands. We've got three songs finished, and although we don't have an official track listing yet, the project will probably have somewhere between 6-8 songs on it. We're just sorta feeling it out and seeing where things go at this point. I talked with the producer and he'd like to get a couple more tracks finished before we release anything quite yet, so it still may be some time before I can post any songs. I'll definitely let you know as things progress.
Ok, formalities aside, I wanted to talk with you about what's been happening in my spiritual life over the last week, and how God's been changing my heart. In my last blog post, I alluded to Romans 12:1-2. Here's the whole passage: "Therefore, I urge you, brothers and sisters, in view of God's mercy, to offer your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and pleasing to God - this is your true and proper worship. Do not conform to the pattern of this world, bbut be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God's will is - his good, pleasing, and perfect will." Specifically, God has been reminding me of the part about offering our bodies as living sacrifices. Last weekend, I took a long hard look at how I've been taking care of the body that God has given me (or not taking care of it), and He revealed some things I hadn't thought about before.
I've been convinced, for a long time that there are some deep issues with the church and an overall lack of honesty when it comes to sacrificial praise. What I failed to realize is that "the church" is not some abstract notion we can blame when things aren't 100% perfect. If you and I claim to be followers of Christ, then the term "the church" refers to you and I as much as it does to any other Christian. So if "the church" has a problem, then I am as big a part of the problem as anyone else in "the church". So basically, God told me this week that I've got no room to talk about the problems in "the Church" until I get my own temple straightened out. Wow... that one kinda stings a little, doesn't it?
Bottom line is, if I'm 100% honest when it comes to my health, both spiritual and physical, I've been pretty willy-nilly. I'm one of those guys who HATES to read books, for the most part. This has been a real stumbling block for me when it comes to spending time in God's word. I'm also one of those people who LOVES to eat. A LOT. So I've got this two-headed monster of a problem where I'm over-indulging in things that aren't good for my body, God's temple, and I'm starving it of its only connection to the only thing that really gives me life. When I first realized this, I started to feel really hopeless, but God, as unceasingly patient as He is, reminded me of Matthew 18. Even though we are as dumb as sheep sometimes, He loves us so much that He'd search to the ends of the earth to find the one that continually wanders off.
So, it's apparent to me that I need to work on two things - being more diligent about spending time in the Word, and taking better care of my body. For the first problem, I know that God wants me spending time reading His word daily. I'm setting a goal to read through the Bible from top to bottom, one chapter at a time every morning. Each time I write a blog post here, I'll post a summary of which chapters I read on which day of the week. That way, I'll have to 'fess up to the entire internet if I miss a day ;) I'd like to do sort of the same thing for getting physically healthy. I know a few things about where I stand physically and where I need to get to, so I'll keep a summary of my physical stats with each blog post that will look something like this:
Weight: 195 lbs
Body Fat: 18% <-- this one's hard to measure, so I may not be able to update it terribly often
Blood Pressure: 108/80
Heart Rate: 49 BPM
Yep... those are my real stats, as of about a week ago. I'm just under 6 feet tall, so that means my BMI is 27.2. This puts me firmly into the 25 to 29.9 range for being overweight. Healthy BMI for men my age is between 18.5-24.9 and healthy body fat % is 8-18%. I've consulted a physician and they said my target weight is 170 lbs, so I gotta lose about 25 lbs - this would get my BMI down to 23.7, which would be ideal for my body type. Heart rate and blood pressure are good, but only because I'm still relatively young (26). Bottom line is, I need to lose some weight.
So that's what I'm up against this year. Seems pretty daunting, but I know I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me. I'm excited to see where God is leading me through on this crazy ride, and I'm looking forward to becoming less like me and more like the person God wants me to be. Thanks for reading and keeping me accountable. I'll update you on everything next week!
Ben
Sunday, January 1, 2012
Honestly
First off, thanks for taking the time to read by inaugural blog post! I haven't had a blog since I quit using MySpace about three years ago, so I feel a bit rusty, but I'm excited about this new project I'm working on. For the past 10 years or so, I've been involved in many musical endeavors, from leading worship at different churches in the Albuquerque area to playing in my hardcore metal band, Mourning to Mercy, all over the southwest, but this is the first time I've had the courage to "strike out on my own", so to speak ;) I'd like to share with you what's been on my heart with regards to my upcoming solo album, "Honestly".
So why do a solo album in the first place? I've had a lot of time to think about the church and how we do worship, and I've observed one commonality among all of the churches I've been to. It seems that contemporary worship revolves around rejoicing with one another. We always sing songs about being joyful in God's presence, or about happiness in the Spirit (and these are great things to sing about), but over the years, it seems that we don't do much to bear each other's burdens, at least where corporate worship is concerned. I'm sure you've heard both believers and unbelievers say that they don't want to be at church because they have to put on their "happy face", or that they can't really be themselves without offending someone. It'd be easy to blame this sentiment on those kinds of church-goers who are territorial over a particular space on that second-row pew with the perfect view of the pulpit, but I feel like this problem goes way deeper. I think it begins with our overall attitude towards worship, and what we understand it to mean.
Romans 12 talks about how we are to offer our bodies to the Lord as living sacrifices. More and more, I see the church's standard of worship becoming less and less sacrificial and more about entertainment. I think that we sing mostly about joy because it's easy to do and allows us to forget exactly why God is sovereign and we are not. During a particular collaboration with another worship leader years ago, I was told that when writing worship songs you should always follow two rules - make it easy to sing, and make it simple. This is a great mantra if you want to write a song that will make it to the Top 40 in ten seconds and fall off it again ten seconds later, but where's the heart? Do we want everyone to be able to sing along with us by the end of the second chorus, or do we want to be real with God and genuinely desire for Him to fix what's wrong with us, regardless of how painful the healing process might be? It's a lot harder to cry out to God in mourning over our sin, but I'm increasingly convinced that it's something we all should do together.
Galatians 6:1-2 says "Brothers and sisters, if someone is caught in a sin, you who live by the Spirit should restore that person gently. But watch yourselves, or you also may be tempted. Carry each other’s burdens, and in this way you will fulfill the law of Christ." It's not enough to just cast our own burdens at the Lord's feet, we need to help each other do it! Furthermore, 1st Corinthians 12:24b-26 says "But God has put the body together, giving greater honor to the parts that lacked it, so that there should be no division in the body, but that its parts should have equal concern for each other. If one part suffers, every part suffers with it; if one part is honored, every part rejoices with it." To me, the message is clear - we all have a part to play when it comes to restoring those who are hurting, because every one of us is broken (Rom. 3:23).
The goal that God has placed on my heart for this project is to demonstrate that it's not just OK but necessary to share in our strengths and weaknesses. I don't want to be another cookie-cutter worshiper, I want to be real before God and His church. And in order to do that, I need to be completely honest in not just my songwriting but in the struggles I face every day as a fellow sinner. This project is about more than just writing music, it's about personal change and dependence on God's grace, and ultimately, sacrificial worship.
That's all I have for now - I'll do my best to update this blog on a weekly basis, and hopefully I can get some music from the album up here too :) I'll keep you posted!
Ben
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