Well, I have to admit, it's been one of those weeks again where you wish for nothing but the weekend, and when it finally comes, it's just as tiring as the rest of the week. I feel pretty beat - I've been sticking to a pretty strict diet where I don't eat late at night, and I'm eating about half as much as I did before. Sometimes it makes me feel great, other times I feel like I'm starving all the time. I thought it was kind of analogous to our spiritual lives. Sometimes it seems like the Spirit is really moving and you can barely keep up, and other times it can feel like things are stagnating and not really going anywhere. This week for me was sorta like the latter, but as always, God's message comes just when you need it. Here's what I read this week
Monday: Genesis 6 - Noah builds the ark
Tuesday: Genesis 7 - The floods rise up
Wednesday: Genesis 8 - The floods recede
Thursday: Genesis 9 - God's covenant with Noah, Noah's sons
Friday:
Saturday:
Sunday: Genesis 10 - Lineage of Noah's sons
Maybe the reason why this week felt so stagnant was because I missed two days... ;) At any rate, this week for me was a recap of a very familiar story of how God saved Noah and his family because they were righteous in a very wicked world. One thing I had never thought of before though was the amount of time that Noah had to wait to trust God's plan for him, and how he did it without second-guessing God's commands.
Imagine for a moment that you start building a giant ship in your backyard because God told you to. Think your neighbors might have something to say about it? What would you tell them? "Oh yeah, God's going to wipe out the earth with a flood, but he told me to build a ship to escape the cataclysm." They all probably thought he was insane. But what strikes me out of this story this particular time is that God didn't have to save Noah by telling him to build an Ark - He could have just magically transported him to the future and let him skip the difficulty of enduring the flood, or the insults of his fellow men, or any of that. But instead, God told him to build a boat to save his family, and it took years of hard work to finish it.
So many times, I fall into that line of thinking that if God was really sovereign and if He really loves me, why doesn't He just get me out of whatever mess I'm in and do it the least painful way possible? By this story, we can see that sometimes, God wants you to learn to trust him by working hard at fulfilling his plan. It may not make sense at the moment to build a giant ship in the middle of your desert home, or face some other seemingly-insane obstacle, but He's got a plan and it just so happens to be the very best plan anyone could ever make for you. Just like Jeremiah 29:11 says, God doesn't want to harm you, He wants to prosper you. This is definitely something I struggle with on a day-to-day basis, but I'm learning to do as 1 Peter 5:7 says and give my cares to God when things just don't make sense, because He cares for us.
So the next time you have a week where you just don't know why you're toiling away or working towards what might seem like a fruitless end, take some time to step back and ask yourself if what you are doing is because it's what you want to do, or if it's because what God wants you to do. If it's the former, then ask God to change your heart, and if it's the latter, ask God to give you patience to continue the work He's currently tasked you with. He will never ask you to do something that He knows you can't do, so consider yourself equipped for the work and press on!
That's all I have for now, talk to you next time!
Ben
Sunday, January 22, 2012
Sunday, January 15, 2012
The Best You Have To Give
Wow, I can't believe how quickly this last week went! Got a lot done and a lot to share, but I am TOTALLY wiped out, so I'll try to make this quick. This week, I got through Genesis chapter 5, and only missed Friday. Not bad for the first week, but still short of the goal. Good thing God's grace is sufficient ;) Here's a quick recap of what these 5 chapters are about:
Genesis 1: The universe is created
Genesis 2: Adam is put in charge of the Garden of Eden and Eve is created
Genesis 3: Adam and Eve sin and are cast out of the Garden
Genesis 4: Cain and Abel are born, Cain murders Abel in a field
Genesis 5: Adam's lineage is traced down to Noah
I want to focus on Chapter 4 today, because it's got some pretty striking stuff in it with respect to worship. Just about everyone knows the story of Cain and Abel, and how it was the first murder recorded in the Bible. A lot of scholars make a big deal out of the fact that it's the first murder, but it's a lot more than that. Let's take a look at what precipitated the act, starting in verse 3 and ending in verse 8.
"And in the process of time it came to pass that Cain brought an offering of the fruit of the ground to the Lord. Abel also brought of the firstborn of his flock and of their fat. And the Lord respected Abel and his offering, but He did not respect Cain and his offering. And Cain was very angry, and his countenance fell. So the Lord said to Cain, "Why are you angry? And why has your countenance fallen? If you do well, will you not be accepted? And if you do not do well, sin lies at the door. And its desire is for you, but you should rule over it." Now Cain talked with Abel his brother; and it came to pass, when they were in the field, that Cain rose up against Abel his brother and killed him."
It's pretty clear that Cain was jealous of Abel because Abel's offering was more pleasing than his own, but why? Well, Cain's offering was just "an offering," according to verse 3, but Abel brought "the firstborn of his flock and of their fat." Abel's offering represented the best of his efforts, but Cain's offering was mediocre, at best. Basically, Cain wanted to get God's blessing without having to give Him the best of his fields, but Abel brought nothing but the best he had to offer. Cain started to sulk about it, and God admonished him, telling him if he had put forth his best efforts, his offering would have also been accepted.
I don't really know why Cain was lazy in his offering, but I'd like to think it was because he was being selfish and wanted to keep the best of his field's produce all to himself. I'm reminded of the parable of the talents in Matthew 25, where three servants were given various talents. The first servant received five talents, the second received two, and the third received one. The first two servants invested their talents and doubled them, but the third did nothing. Upon returning it to the master, the third servant went so far as to insult the master saying "I knew that you are a hard man, harvesting where you have not sown and gathering where you have not scattered seed. So I was afraid and went out and hid your talent in the ground. See, here is what belongs to you." Of course, the third servant was banished because of his laziness. The main point here is that laziness kills effective worship. I'll be the first to admit that this is a hard pill to swallow. There have been plenty of times where I didn't feel like reaching out to someone for Christ, or doing the best job I could at work, or fill in the blank. It's easy to get lazy because the perceived payoff is immediate, but laziness can really cause your relationship with Christ (as well as any other relationship) to suffer.
Taking this one step further back, it seems like I'm having to ask God for help with a LOT of things lately, which is hard to do for me because I'm a stubborn, type-A person. But I have to say that with all the conviction I've been feeling lately, there is a definite sense of peace that comes with knowing that I don't have to handle this myself. Which reminds me of another passage - Matthew 11:28-30, which says: "Come to Me, all you who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take My yoke upon you and learn from Me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For My yoke is easy and my burden is light." It seems I've heard those verses a million times, but I think I'm finally starting to understand.
Well that's all I have for tonight. If you have anything you'd like to share, feel free to do so in the Comments below. Otherwise, have a safe week, talk to you soon!
Ben
Genesis 1: The universe is created
Genesis 2: Adam is put in charge of the Garden of Eden and Eve is created
Genesis 3: Adam and Eve sin and are cast out of the Garden
Genesis 4: Cain and Abel are born, Cain murders Abel in a field
Genesis 5: Adam's lineage is traced down to Noah
I want to focus on Chapter 4 today, because it's got some pretty striking stuff in it with respect to worship. Just about everyone knows the story of Cain and Abel, and how it was the first murder recorded in the Bible. A lot of scholars make a big deal out of the fact that it's the first murder, but it's a lot more than that. Let's take a look at what precipitated the act, starting in verse 3 and ending in verse 8.
"And in the process of time it came to pass that Cain brought an offering of the fruit of the ground to the Lord. Abel also brought of the firstborn of his flock and of their fat. And the Lord respected Abel and his offering, but He did not respect Cain and his offering. And Cain was very angry, and his countenance fell. So the Lord said to Cain, "Why are you angry? And why has your countenance fallen? If you do well, will you not be accepted? And if you do not do well, sin lies at the door. And its desire is for you, but you should rule over it." Now Cain talked with Abel his brother; and it came to pass, when they were in the field, that Cain rose up against Abel his brother and killed him."
It's pretty clear that Cain was jealous of Abel because Abel's offering was more pleasing than his own, but why? Well, Cain's offering was just "an offering," according to verse 3, but Abel brought "the firstborn of his flock and of their fat." Abel's offering represented the best of his efforts, but Cain's offering was mediocre, at best. Basically, Cain wanted to get God's blessing without having to give Him the best of his fields, but Abel brought nothing but the best he had to offer. Cain started to sulk about it, and God admonished him, telling him if he had put forth his best efforts, his offering would have also been accepted.
I don't really know why Cain was lazy in his offering, but I'd like to think it was because he was being selfish and wanted to keep the best of his field's produce all to himself. I'm reminded of the parable of the talents in Matthew 25, where three servants were given various talents. The first servant received five talents, the second received two, and the third received one. The first two servants invested their talents and doubled them, but the third did nothing. Upon returning it to the master, the third servant went so far as to insult the master saying "I knew that you are a hard man, harvesting where you have not sown and gathering where you have not scattered seed. So I was afraid and went out and hid your talent in the ground. See, here is what belongs to you." Of course, the third servant was banished because of his laziness. The main point here is that laziness kills effective worship. I'll be the first to admit that this is a hard pill to swallow. There have been plenty of times where I didn't feel like reaching out to someone for Christ, or doing the best job I could at work, or fill in the blank. It's easy to get lazy because the perceived payoff is immediate, but laziness can really cause your relationship with Christ (as well as any other relationship) to suffer.
Taking this one step further back, it seems like I'm having to ask God for help with a LOT of things lately, which is hard to do for me because I'm a stubborn, type-A person. But I have to say that with all the conviction I've been feeling lately, there is a definite sense of peace that comes with knowing that I don't have to handle this myself. Which reminds me of another passage - Matthew 11:28-30, which says: "Come to Me, all you who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take My yoke upon you and learn from Me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For My yoke is easy and my burden is light." It seems I've heard those verses a million times, but I think I'm finally starting to understand.
Well that's all I have for tonight. If you have anything you'd like to share, feel free to do so in the Comments below. Otherwise, have a safe week, talk to you soon!
Ben
Sunday, January 8, 2012
The Huge Plank In My Eye
Hey everyone,
I hope you've all had a great week since last Sunday, and that your New Year's holiday was restful! Before I get to the main point of today's blog, I wanted to say something about where the music on the project stands. We've got three songs finished, and although we don't have an official track listing yet, the project will probably have somewhere between 6-8 songs on it. We're just sorta feeling it out and seeing where things go at this point. I talked with the producer and he'd like to get a couple more tracks finished before we release anything quite yet, so it still may be some time before I can post any songs. I'll definitely let you know as things progress.
Ok, formalities aside, I wanted to talk with you about what's been happening in my spiritual life over the last week, and how God's been changing my heart. In my last blog post, I alluded to Romans 12:1-2. Here's the whole passage: "Therefore, I urge you, brothers and sisters, in view of God's mercy, to offer your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and pleasing to God - this is your true and proper worship. Do not conform to the pattern of this world, bbut be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God's will is - his good, pleasing, and perfect will." Specifically, God has been reminding me of the part about offering our bodies as living sacrifices. Last weekend, I took a long hard look at how I've been taking care of the body that God has given me (or not taking care of it), and He revealed some things I hadn't thought about before.
I've been convinced, for a long time that there are some deep issues with the church and an overall lack of honesty when it comes to sacrificial praise. What I failed to realize is that "the church" is not some abstract notion we can blame when things aren't 100% perfect. If you and I claim to be followers of Christ, then the term "the church" refers to you and I as much as it does to any other Christian. So if "the church" has a problem, then I am as big a part of the problem as anyone else in "the church". So basically, God told me this week that I've got no room to talk about the problems in "the Church" until I get my own temple straightened out. Wow... that one kinda stings a little, doesn't it?
Bottom line is, if I'm 100% honest when it comes to my health, both spiritual and physical, I've been pretty willy-nilly. I'm one of those guys who HATES to read books, for the most part. This has been a real stumbling block for me when it comes to spending time in God's word. I'm also one of those people who LOVES to eat. A LOT. So I've got this two-headed monster of a problem where I'm over-indulging in things that aren't good for my body, God's temple, and I'm starving it of its only connection to the only thing that really gives me life. When I first realized this, I started to feel really hopeless, but God, as unceasingly patient as He is, reminded me of Matthew 18. Even though we are as dumb as sheep sometimes, He loves us so much that He'd search to the ends of the earth to find the one that continually wanders off.
So, it's apparent to me that I need to work on two things - being more diligent about spending time in the Word, and taking better care of my body. For the first problem, I know that God wants me spending time reading His word daily. I'm setting a goal to read through the Bible from top to bottom, one chapter at a time every morning. Each time I write a blog post here, I'll post a summary of which chapters I read on which day of the week. That way, I'll have to 'fess up to the entire internet if I miss a day ;) I'd like to do sort of the same thing for getting physically healthy. I know a few things about where I stand physically and where I need to get to, so I'll keep a summary of my physical stats with each blog post that will look something like this:
Weight: 195 lbs
Body Fat: 18% <-- this one's hard to measure, so I may not be able to update it terribly often
Blood Pressure: 108/80
Heart Rate: 49 BPM
Yep... those are my real stats, as of about a week ago. I'm just under 6 feet tall, so that means my BMI is 27.2. This puts me firmly into the 25 to 29.9 range for being overweight. Healthy BMI for men my age is between 18.5-24.9 and healthy body fat % is 8-18%. I've consulted a physician and they said my target weight is 170 lbs, so I gotta lose about 25 lbs - this would get my BMI down to 23.7, which would be ideal for my body type. Heart rate and blood pressure are good, but only because I'm still relatively young (26). Bottom line is, I need to lose some weight.
So that's what I'm up against this year. Seems pretty daunting, but I know I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me. I'm excited to see where God is leading me through on this crazy ride, and I'm looking forward to becoming less like me and more like the person God wants me to be. Thanks for reading and keeping me accountable. I'll update you on everything next week!
Ben
I hope you've all had a great week since last Sunday, and that your New Year's holiday was restful! Before I get to the main point of today's blog, I wanted to say something about where the music on the project stands. We've got three songs finished, and although we don't have an official track listing yet, the project will probably have somewhere between 6-8 songs on it. We're just sorta feeling it out and seeing where things go at this point. I talked with the producer and he'd like to get a couple more tracks finished before we release anything quite yet, so it still may be some time before I can post any songs. I'll definitely let you know as things progress.
Ok, formalities aside, I wanted to talk with you about what's been happening in my spiritual life over the last week, and how God's been changing my heart. In my last blog post, I alluded to Romans 12:1-2. Here's the whole passage: "Therefore, I urge you, brothers and sisters, in view of God's mercy, to offer your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and pleasing to God - this is your true and proper worship. Do not conform to the pattern of this world, bbut be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God's will is - his good, pleasing, and perfect will." Specifically, God has been reminding me of the part about offering our bodies as living sacrifices. Last weekend, I took a long hard look at how I've been taking care of the body that God has given me (or not taking care of it), and He revealed some things I hadn't thought about before.
I've been convinced, for a long time that there are some deep issues with the church and an overall lack of honesty when it comes to sacrificial praise. What I failed to realize is that "the church" is not some abstract notion we can blame when things aren't 100% perfect. If you and I claim to be followers of Christ, then the term "the church" refers to you and I as much as it does to any other Christian. So if "the church" has a problem, then I am as big a part of the problem as anyone else in "the church". So basically, God told me this week that I've got no room to talk about the problems in "the Church" until I get my own temple straightened out. Wow... that one kinda stings a little, doesn't it?
Bottom line is, if I'm 100% honest when it comes to my health, both spiritual and physical, I've been pretty willy-nilly. I'm one of those guys who HATES to read books, for the most part. This has been a real stumbling block for me when it comes to spending time in God's word. I'm also one of those people who LOVES to eat. A LOT. So I've got this two-headed monster of a problem where I'm over-indulging in things that aren't good for my body, God's temple, and I'm starving it of its only connection to the only thing that really gives me life. When I first realized this, I started to feel really hopeless, but God, as unceasingly patient as He is, reminded me of Matthew 18. Even though we are as dumb as sheep sometimes, He loves us so much that He'd search to the ends of the earth to find the one that continually wanders off.
So, it's apparent to me that I need to work on two things - being more diligent about spending time in the Word, and taking better care of my body. For the first problem, I know that God wants me spending time reading His word daily. I'm setting a goal to read through the Bible from top to bottom, one chapter at a time every morning. Each time I write a blog post here, I'll post a summary of which chapters I read on which day of the week. That way, I'll have to 'fess up to the entire internet if I miss a day ;) I'd like to do sort of the same thing for getting physically healthy. I know a few things about where I stand physically and where I need to get to, so I'll keep a summary of my physical stats with each blog post that will look something like this:
Weight: 195 lbs
Body Fat: 18% <-- this one's hard to measure, so I may not be able to update it terribly often
Blood Pressure: 108/80
Heart Rate: 49 BPM
Yep... those are my real stats, as of about a week ago. I'm just under 6 feet tall, so that means my BMI is 27.2. This puts me firmly into the 25 to 29.9 range for being overweight. Healthy BMI for men my age is between 18.5-24.9 and healthy body fat % is 8-18%. I've consulted a physician and they said my target weight is 170 lbs, so I gotta lose about 25 lbs - this would get my BMI down to 23.7, which would be ideal for my body type. Heart rate and blood pressure are good, but only because I'm still relatively young (26). Bottom line is, I need to lose some weight.
So that's what I'm up against this year. Seems pretty daunting, but I know I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me. I'm excited to see where God is leading me through on this crazy ride, and I'm looking forward to becoming less like me and more like the person God wants me to be. Thanks for reading and keeping me accountable. I'll update you on everything next week!
Ben
Sunday, January 1, 2012
Honestly
First off, thanks for taking the time to read by inaugural blog post! I haven't had a blog since I quit using MySpace about three years ago, so I feel a bit rusty, but I'm excited about this new project I'm working on. For the past 10 years or so, I've been involved in many musical endeavors, from leading worship at different churches in the Albuquerque area to playing in my hardcore metal band, Mourning to Mercy, all over the southwest, but this is the first time I've had the courage to "strike out on my own", so to speak ;) I'd like to share with you what's been on my heart with regards to my upcoming solo album, "Honestly".
So why do a solo album in the first place? I've had a lot of time to think about the church and how we do worship, and I've observed one commonality among all of the churches I've been to. It seems that contemporary worship revolves around rejoicing with one another. We always sing songs about being joyful in God's presence, or about happiness in the Spirit (and these are great things to sing about), but over the years, it seems that we don't do much to bear each other's burdens, at least where corporate worship is concerned. I'm sure you've heard both believers and unbelievers say that they don't want to be at church because they have to put on their "happy face", or that they can't really be themselves without offending someone. It'd be easy to blame this sentiment on those kinds of church-goers who are territorial over a particular space on that second-row pew with the perfect view of the pulpit, but I feel like this problem goes way deeper. I think it begins with our overall attitude towards worship, and what we understand it to mean.
Romans 12 talks about how we are to offer our bodies to the Lord as living sacrifices. More and more, I see the church's standard of worship becoming less and less sacrificial and more about entertainment. I think that we sing mostly about joy because it's easy to do and allows us to forget exactly why God is sovereign and we are not. During a particular collaboration with another worship leader years ago, I was told that when writing worship songs you should always follow two rules - make it easy to sing, and make it simple. This is a great mantra if you want to write a song that will make it to the Top 40 in ten seconds and fall off it again ten seconds later, but where's the heart? Do we want everyone to be able to sing along with us by the end of the second chorus, or do we want to be real with God and genuinely desire for Him to fix what's wrong with us, regardless of how painful the healing process might be? It's a lot harder to cry out to God in mourning over our sin, but I'm increasingly convinced that it's something we all should do together.
Galatians 6:1-2 says "Brothers and sisters, if someone is caught in a sin, you who live by the Spirit should restore that person gently. But watch yourselves, or you also may be tempted. Carry each other’s burdens, and in this way you will fulfill the law of Christ." It's not enough to just cast our own burdens at the Lord's feet, we need to help each other do it! Furthermore, 1st Corinthians 12:24b-26 says "But God has put the body together, giving greater honor to the parts that lacked it, so that there should be no division in the body, but that its parts should have equal concern for each other. If one part suffers, every part suffers with it; if one part is honored, every part rejoices with it." To me, the message is clear - we all have a part to play when it comes to restoring those who are hurting, because every one of us is broken (Rom. 3:23).
The goal that God has placed on my heart for this project is to demonstrate that it's not just OK but necessary to share in our strengths and weaknesses. I don't want to be another cookie-cutter worshiper, I want to be real before God and His church. And in order to do that, I need to be completely honest in not just my songwriting but in the struggles I face every day as a fellow sinner. This project is about more than just writing music, it's about personal change and dependence on God's grace, and ultimately, sacrificial worship.
That's all I have for now - I'll do my best to update this blog on a weekly basis, and hopefully I can get some music from the album up here too :) I'll keep you posted!
Ben
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